Part 2 of "Surreal Doesn't Describe It"

Upon entering the VIP car with Victoria Ward I suddenly become very self-conscious. 
 
(And if you've not read Part 1 of this story, stop! and go back and read the Surreal Doesn't Describe It... post or this may not make any sense.) 

I became very aware of what I was wearing (jeans, a sweatshirt and a dorky floppy, sun hat) and a wind-blown, over-grown-needing-to-be-cut-in-a-bad-way, hat-head hair-do!  What was I thinking?!  But I lost all self-consciousness when my eyes fell on Barry Ward and then Phil Stacey and a couple of other great talents, in whom their names have escaped me,  and the realization that I'm about to be sitting in the same car came flushing over me.
 

The seat that I was offered was practically across from Phil...uh huh...and right next to him was a mirror glaring back at me, and in that instance I silently and subtly cringed as I removed my...uh...hat.  I looked a mess.  But Whatever! As if I knew this moment was going to exist in my life, right?   
 

So unplanned, but perfectly orchestrated by God Himself.  Hasn't He the humor at times?
 

Nevertheless, I looked around and spotted my husband sitting on the other end of the car near the entrance and across from Barry.  He at one end and I at the other ... book-ends to new friends, extraordinary spiritual influence and significance, and brilliance in the musical artistry.   (God, what am I doing here?)
 

The guitar was passed on to Phil and a beautiful song of praise and worship came flowing out.  I'd like to learn that one some day!  During this melody Victoria, who was at my left, looked at me and asked quietly, 
 

"Do you play?" 
I nodded in reply and as I motioned to my head I whispered, "I don't remember without my music."
(Unassumingly inside I was protesting...NO WAY am I going to play in THIS car in front of THESE people!)  
 

You see where this is going don't you.
 

Phil ends his song, there was a moment of silence (after we all applauded of course), and the question was asked,
 

"Would anyone else like to play a song?"
 

"Do you mind if my wife shares a song?"
 

It was as if a movie was put into slow motion.  I looked at him in horror (wives, you know the look you give to your husband that speaks "You did NOT just say that!!!), my heart was racing, the guitar...a Taylor no less...was handed to me...by Phil Stacey (the one who has performed after Michael W. Smith, Toby Mac, and so many more of those BIGGIES, and has had dinner with Tim McGraw and Faith Hill) and I froze as 22 eyes were staring at me...the one with the wind-blown hair-do and sun-burned face, in which turned 3 shades brighter I'm sure!  
 

Now what? I thought.
"I really don't remember my songs without the paper" is all I could say, and my husband blurted out a name of one that I'd written years ago and I definitely would not remember that one;  however, and at the same time my latest written work came to mind.  I paused, I breathed, I shook as I was thinking ...and I believe someone actual spoke this..."nerve wracking to be following Phil Stacey"...yeah, like I could beat that!  This was not a competition, I know, still it was...surreal!
 

Encouragements from my surreal audience of great talent then began to speak out words such as these:
 

You're among family
Allow the Holy Spirit to bring to your memory
It's ok, you can do it
Take your time
 

And as Phil was saying something goofy to break the ice and make me laugh  the strumming began and the first words were sung, and I just closed my eyes to allow myself to keep remembering...stumbling through the chords...and words, yet living in the moment of it all.  Tears suddenly showed up at the corners of my eyes, either out of sheer embarrassment or the thought that God would place ME...a civilian, a nobody in light of who I was seated with...in this incredible environment, and quite possibly a mixture of both of those emotions.  
 

Eventually I made it through...roughly...but what was done was done, and the guitar was given back to its owner and onto Barry who sang about oven bags...hilarious!...and the remainder of my time in that seat was really a blur as I was reeling from the onslaught of thoughts of "what an idiot you have just made of yourself" among others, and consequently these negative impressions kept me from looking in the eyes of these accomplished recording artists.  (However, later that evening, God told me otherwise...and that will be told in Part 3).   
 

The train had come to a stop and my heart sunk, because I did not really want to leave this experience.  I just knew there was a reason for this short moment.  I got up, as the stop was for Steve and I to get off the train, touched Phil's shoulder and said without thinking "Thank-you for allowing me to make an idiot of myself today". (I, now, regret those words of doubt and uncertainty.  Unfortunately they were repeated to two others as well.)  Phil graciously smiled and offered me an accolade, in which was hard for me to swallow.  I turned around and there was Victoria extending her arms around me and whispering "Follow your dream!" with conviction in her eyes, and onto the exit of THE car, except that Barry was completely blocking it.  He grabbed me into a big bear hug and in that I found much encouragement and love.  
 

Walking passed the exit my eyes widened and I turned my head to Steve and exclaimed, "I know what my next blog post will be about!"
 

This is the end of Part 2,  and yes I will have a Part 3.  God has spoken to me about a few things regarding this moment in which I truly believe was a divine appointment from Him, and I'd like to share with you those words.  
Thank-you for reading this very long post, but I hope that you've enjoyed the story!


Enjoying My Kup...
                       Cindy