Part 3 of "Surreal doesn't describe it..." or (God's Surreal is Real When You're Ready...)

Friday, the 17th of June, was a day that has marked my life in significant proportions.  It was the day of clear skies, warm winds, a traditional style train ride (ie. steam engine!), and a concert by two men that God has used to demonstrate His point in my walk with Him.   It was a day of divine appointments, and whether those have started a ripple affect for the course of the rest of my life, well only my Lord knows that answer, but I will rejoice in knowing that my God loves and delights in His child, little 'ol me, enough to consider me sufficiently important to have had to place me in such humbling circumstances as I've already disclosed in Part 2 of this story.

Later that evening as I was reeling from obvious emotion from the day's events God positioned three very profound impressions on my heart.    The first impression was more a shot-in-the-arm-dose of encouragement.  As a result, I winced tearfully when I heard it.

"You are not an idiot.  It was purposely a humbling experience."  

Wow, I was being humbled.

"But God, really?  In front of Phil and Barry?  You deem me that important?"  I questioned as tears rolled down my face.

The next impression was this:

"I was using Phil Stacey to say to you 'I am serious about the calling I have put on your life'".  Wow...again.

"And I have used Barry Ward to encourage you that your age is irrelevant...you're not getting too old for what I've called you to do."

(Let me preface this last impression by saying...and just in case Barry or Victoria ever reads this...that Barry is not old.  In fact, I'm married to one who is about as old as he, give or take a couple of years.  You see, Barry didn't start his full-time music ministry until only two years ago, at an age that most musicians start winding down, unlike young Phil who started early in life.  Ugh!  I hope I'm getting this out right! And, apparently, I needed this visual for the Lord to make His point.  I feel old, my body hurts, and I once heard that as the male voice advances and gets stronger as he grows older, the female voice only gets worse.  So there you have it...the worry of a dying voice!  And my Savior wanted me to know otherwise.  Isn't He good y'all!)

Alas! The third and final impression I received was really not an impression at all, but a question; one that was asked with a  disciplinary tone of a Father  Who has waited for this moment to meet with His sometimes-wayward-can't-take-a-whole-lot-of-pain child face-to-face.

"Who told you not to play?"

And at that moment with widened eyes it all came clear to me...as hind-site 20/20 always does...I had listened to the wrong voice.  The Voice of Pain.

Yeah I know, I need to explain myself.  Back in January I thought I sensed the Lord putting me on a one year sabbatical from playing my guitar and leading worship, as I was doing on a consistent basis in the previous twelve months.  Meanwhile, as the year progressed so did the pain in my left hand, wrist, and thumb.  As a result and by the end of December, my whole left arm and then my right began to hurt as well.  I was beside myself and very discouraged.  Although, it did not so much as affect my playing when I played as it did the rest of my day following the worship set.  It throbbed, in fact.  Hence, the relief that I felt when I interpreted the thought of sabbatical to be HIS voice.  Now I know better.  Did I need a break?  Probably.  But not for a whole year.  Could God heal me as I do the thing that hurts my joints the most?  Absolutely, without a doubt!  Will He?  Don't know.  I am not God.  However, if He's confronted me about this then I've got to wonder with awe what He might want to do through this pain, wouldn't you?

Accordingly, since God has made these impressions strikingly clear on my heart I have made the decision to move forward and practice, practice, practice...without the crutch of the paper in sight, stamping and stirring the words to memory (supernatural memory for this brain of mine!), so that at any time when God places me in a situation of testing that I may not be humbled, but pass the test of having confidence in the calling He has created me for doing.  Interestingly, that Sunday my Pastor preached on just this thing. He shared a story, and in this case it was about a talented boy on the basketball court whom forgot the very thing he was gifted at...shooting the ball.  Instead he passed the ball...his weakness.  At the end, the coach said this...and I will never forget it, because it spoke right into the very situation I found myself in just two days prior:

"Son, when you're ready to be a shooter, let me know."

And then I heard...

"Cindy, when you're ready to be what I've called you to be...a singer/songwriter...let me know."

Here I am Lord.  I'm ready!

Now on to the Salon to reshape this mess that crowns my head!

Enjoying My Kup...

                       Cindy

  

Part 2 of "Surreal Doesn't Describe It"

Upon entering the VIP car with Victoria Ward I suddenly become very self-conscious. 
 
(And if you've not read Part 1 of this story, stop! and go back and read the Surreal Doesn't Describe It... post or this may not make any sense.) 

I became very aware of what I was wearing (jeans, a sweatshirt and a dorky floppy, sun hat) and a wind-blown, over-grown-needing-to-be-cut-in-a-bad-way, hat-head hair-do!  What was I thinking?!  But I lost all self-consciousness when my eyes fell on Barry Ward and then Phil Stacey and a couple of other great talents, in whom their names have escaped me,  and the realization that I'm about to be sitting in the same car came flushing over me.
 

The seat that I was offered was practically across from Phil...uh huh...and right next to him was a mirror glaring back at me, and in that instance I silently and subtly cringed as I removed my...uh...hat.  I looked a mess.  But Whatever! As if I knew this moment was going to exist in my life, right?   
 

So unplanned, but perfectly orchestrated by God Himself.  Hasn't He the humor at times?
 

Nevertheless, I looked around and spotted my husband sitting on the other end of the car near the entrance and across from Barry.  He at one end and I at the other ... book-ends to new friends, extraordinary spiritual influence and significance, and brilliance in the musical artistry.   (God, what am I doing here?)
 

The guitar was passed on to Phil and a beautiful song of praise and worship came flowing out.  I'd like to learn that one some day!  During this melody Victoria, who was at my left, looked at me and asked quietly, 
 

"Do you play?" 
I nodded in reply and as I motioned to my head I whispered, "I don't remember without my music."
(Unassumingly inside I was protesting...NO WAY am I going to play in THIS car in front of THESE people!)  
 

You see where this is going don't you.
 

Phil ends his song, there was a moment of silence (after we all applauded of course), and the question was asked,
 

"Would anyone else like to play a song?"
 

"Do you mind if my wife shares a song?"
 

It was as if a movie was put into slow motion.  I looked at him in horror (wives, you know the look you give to your husband that speaks "You did NOT just say that!!!), my heart was racing, the guitar...a Taylor no less...was handed to me...by Phil Stacey (the one who has performed after Michael W. Smith, Toby Mac, and so many more of those BIGGIES, and has had dinner with Tim McGraw and Faith Hill) and I froze as 22 eyes were staring at me...the one with the wind-blown hair-do and sun-burned face, in which turned 3 shades brighter I'm sure!  
 

Now what? I thought.
"I really don't remember my songs without the paper" is all I could say, and my husband blurted out a name of one that I'd written years ago and I definitely would not remember that one;  however, and at the same time my latest written work came to mind.  I paused, I breathed, I shook as I was thinking ...and I believe someone actual spoke this..."nerve wracking to be following Phil Stacey"...yeah, like I could beat that!  This was not a competition, I know, still it was...surreal!
 

Encouragements from my surreal audience of great talent then began to speak out words such as these:
 

You're among family
Allow the Holy Spirit to bring to your memory
It's ok, you can do it
Take your time
 

And as Phil was saying something goofy to break the ice and make me laugh  the strumming began and the first words were sung, and I just closed my eyes to allow myself to keep remembering...stumbling through the chords...and words, yet living in the moment of it all.  Tears suddenly showed up at the corners of my eyes, either out of sheer embarrassment or the thought that God would place ME...a civilian, a nobody in light of who I was seated with...in this incredible environment, and quite possibly a mixture of both of those emotions.  
 

Eventually I made it through...roughly...but what was done was done, and the guitar was given back to its owner and onto Barry who sang about oven bags...hilarious!...and the remainder of my time in that seat was really a blur as I was reeling from the onslaught of thoughts of "what an idiot you have just made of yourself" among others, and consequently these negative impressions kept me from looking in the eyes of these accomplished recording artists.  (However, later that evening, God told me otherwise...and that will be told in Part 3).   
 

The train had come to a stop and my heart sunk, because I did not really want to leave this experience.  I just knew there was a reason for this short moment.  I got up, as the stop was for Steve and I to get off the train, touched Phil's shoulder and said without thinking "Thank-you for allowing me to make an idiot of myself today". (I, now, regret those words of doubt and uncertainty.  Unfortunately they were repeated to two others as well.)  Phil graciously smiled and offered me an accolade, in which was hard for me to swallow.  I turned around and there was Victoria extending her arms around me and whispering "Follow your dream!" with conviction in her eyes, and onto the exit of THE car, except that Barry was completely blocking it.  He grabbed me into a big bear hug and in that I found much encouragement and love.  
 

Walking passed the exit my eyes widened and I turned my head to Steve and exclaimed, "I know what my next blog post will be about!"
 

This is the end of Part 2,  and yes I will have a Part 3.  God has spoken to me about a few things regarding this moment in which I truly believe was a divine appointment from Him, and I'd like to share with you those words.  
Thank-you for reading this very long post, but I hope that you've enjoyed the story!


Enjoying My Kup...
                       Cindy

"Surreal" doesn't describe it...

How do I even put what took place yesterday in words?  It was surreal!  This may be a long one, so stick with me.

My husband and I were blessed with tickets to ride the Rio Grande Rail Road an hour into a beautiful, secluded mountain area in Colorado.  There we debarked and awaited a concert by Phil Stacey. 

If any of you do not know who this is (by the way, I didn't!), he was the finalist in American Idol's 6th season.  (This is the season Jordyn Sparks won...yeah, I had to ask Phil...embarrassing!)  

Meanwhile, as the stage was being prepped for the concert, Steve and I parked our low-rider pink chairs in the front row where there were hay bails to prop our feet, a pre-made packed lunch for the grabs, and a refreshing, ice-cold Arnold Palmer in hand.  It was a starting of a glorious experience to remember and certainly a treat to relax in this rustic environment!  A day of no packing was a bit surreal in itself.  

Before Phil (I feel like I can call him by his first name only...you'll find out why later) made his entrance there was another man to open the concert.  His name was Barry Ward.  

What?!  As recognition of his face came to view I turned to my husband and blurted out,  "Steve! We know this man!" 

During intermission the "meeting this man and his wife at a camp we were once employed with 6 years ago" was confirmed...and the memory of sitting and having a conversation with them, even the subject matter, came to the forefront of my mind.  (Later in the day Steve and I realized we had come full circle in our 8-year-journey by reconnecting with Barry Ward and his wife.)  Small world! 

Did I mention that Barry won Male Vocalist of the Year in the Western Division of the Country Gospel Music Association and was one of the top three finalists for the Western Music Association‘s Male Performer of the Year?!  In 2009, his song Whispers of the West was nominated by the Academy of Western Artists for Song of the Year.  Barry's talent on his guitar is phenominal and his unique and God-given ability to tell life stories within his music is extraordinary!  If you'd like to learn more about Barry's ministry go to www.barrywardmusic.com.   I'll get back to Barry and Victoria in just a few.
 

I could end this post right here, because just this part had made my day...but I won't, because I barely hit the surface...and besides, you'd probably like to know a little about Phil Stacey, right?
 

Phil Stacey was amazing; his vocals, his talent on the guitar and keyboard was incredible, and a very personable, humorous, honest man was he.  Great testimony as well! But that's for him to tell, so I hope that you are blessed to hear it one day.
 

After a wonderful few hours of being entertained by these gentlemen and just before the train was to be embarked, Steve and I approached Barry and his wife, Victoria, to say our goodbyes.  Barry, then, offered for the two of us to sit with them in their train car (they were VIP's who were privileged to sit in the VIP car...with Phil Stacey who had two armed sheriffs "guarding" the premises. And may I say, these sheriffs were hoots to boot!). However, we entered the train and decided to turn the opposite way of the Very-Important-Person car and sat in the open air car instead...not that we were feeling very-unimportant...that's not the point.  

Awww...the breeze was heavenly and the fresh, organic smells were glorious!

As I gazed out onto the open terrain I wondered to Steve, "Do you think they were serious about us sitting with them or were they only being polite?"
 
"I don't know" he replied with a curious expression.
 

So we stayed put.

Yet, I sensed that if we were supposed to be in THAT car we'd be invited personally...again.  Evidently, I heard correctly for, sure enough, Victoria came walking down the car isle and joined us in the breathtaking views of countrified Colorado.  After a bit of conversation was exchanged about their ministry (and I sensed that she and I had genuinely connected...a real camaraderie, really... I instantly really liked loved this woman.) I shared with her a question I'd been secretly wanting to ask the men (or really anyone who is living this dream of mine)... "how does it feel to have your songs in the living rooms across America and beyond where the hope that you have in you is being shared?"  With a twinkle in her eye, and a slight smile on her lips she offered, "why don't y'all come on back with me" (or something to that nature.)  She invited us to join her in THE car.  Uh huh...we were about to enter another realm! Ha!

This is the end of Part One.  Please come back tomorrow for Part Two.  It gets more surreal-er than this...I promise :)

Enjoying My Kup...
                 Cindy 

"Men On Mondays"

Well...Cindy had to re-train me on how to get on the web site and get started.  I guess that means that it has been too long since I blogged.  I don't know if anyone missed me, but Cindy insisted that I keep going, so if it makes her happy...then guess what?? 


My thoughts are called "Men on Mondays".  Every Monday, I will have a story or two that may or may not keep you looking at our blog every Monday.  I'm sure that there will be many things to discuss, feel free to share your stories. 


Here's to the first installment of "Men On Mondays"!  I say cheers as I sip on my Diet Coke instead of Koffee.


Ode to Walking...


There in the past, when I used to walk fast
While I was still young in my step
Seeing nothing at all, my step would not fall
I raced to the end of my quest.


Walking am I, with eyes to the sky
My lungs need many a breath
Walking a trail, just dragging my tail
I'm really just passing a test.


The difference I see, is I'll never be
A lad with the spring in my step.
The man that I am, with the great "I am"
Is seeing what He wants me to see.



Cindy and I went on a walk yesterday...we don't do that enough!  How many of us live in beautiful places, but get caught up life only to never enjoy the creation that is God.  For those of you that don't live in the most beautiful places...places that are described as "smelling like money", just play along.  If you have a favorite vacation spot, take the time to "vacation" with your family!


I can tell that I'm getting old, because as we started the hike, my body was reminding me..."just pace yourself".  Just pace myself??  Up a slight incline??  I needed to pace myself...just 5 minutes into the walk, I was huffing and puffing and was looking for a spot to rest.  Just in the nick of time, we came upon a river and it was the perfect spot for me to ask Cindy "do you need to rest?"  I needed to rest!  I needed to rest??  It's OK to rest. 


I talked to my dad on the telephone tonight, he is 78 years old and he was trying to install a garbage disposal in his kitchen.  He told me that the only problem he would have in the installation process was holding the disposal up long enough to connect it to the sink.  My dad could fix anything...I could sprint up a mountain trail...my dad is still smart...I 'm just learning to listen.  I'm just learning to rest.

To the "Men On Mondays" I always laugh at how things were easier when I was young.  I could eat a whole pizza, now a container of Tums...I could do a lot of sit-ups, now when I sit, I can't get up...I used to be able to fit on the couch for a nap...now the nap is 3 hours...don't even talk about how my high school letter jacket fits!  Remember the fun...but remember to listen, rest and enjoy your walks.

Enjoying Mondays!!

Steve

Correction...

In my last post entitled Note To Self... I mentioned that my last tetanus shot might have been in two thousand and seven.  

Correction!

I meant to say Nineteen ninety seven.    So yeah, it's WAY past due.

But I really do think that I actually hit the bone and bruised it, in which case it will indeed hurt for a while...and hurt it does at this very moment.


Oh well! Life will go on!


Enjoying My Kup!
                          Cindy

 

Note To Self... (or anyone for that matter!)

Wear socks and shoes when packing a sewing room.  


The throbbing in my foot is a stark reminder of the point sharply taken in yesterday's "packing party" with a willing friend (in whom I am deeply appreciative!).


In this particular room the floor is adorned with a lovely, old calico colored carpet; a camouflage to just about anything...especially needles!  It acts as a pin cushion to the fallen strays as a single one carefully intentionally  inadvertently landed point up waiting for its victim helpless and innocent.  


My foot met it's accuser and crunch! Really, it sounded as if my foot was crushing something, when, in fact, I looked down and this needle had "crunched" into 3 levels of the bottom of my foot (or so it seemed and felt!)...through my sock!  Ok ouch, yeah, it started to hurt after realizing what just took place.  And yes!  I carefully pulled this foreign object out ...and I kept pulling ...it was deep.


My dear friend, at this point (no pun intended...ok maybe a little) was not so willing.  Ha!  She handed me the alcohol covered cloth.  But I made her pour it on my bleeding foot anyway ;o)  It really didn't hurt at that point (I know, that word is getting old! I promise I'll stop).  And really, the rest of the evening it was fine unless I put a little finger pressure on the wound.

This morning I woke up with a different story.  My foot was   throbbing with no pressure at all, at which point purpose yesterday's conversation came to the forefront of my mind:


"When was your last tetanus shot?" my friend just had to ask.

(NO!!), I thought (because I'm a baby when it comes to needles!  Oh the irony.) and then replied, "hmm...maybe in two thousand and seven when I was a dental assistant. I don't remember."  ugh!


I, then, justified that the needle wasn't rusty; it was practically new before I stepped on it!  So in that case, I will wait it out to see if I die  get infected..or not.

The moral of that story is displayed in the very first line of this post.  Need I repeat it again?

I WILL Enjoy My Kup today...
                                    Cindy

Knowing vs. Waiting

Waiting builds character and endurance for the race set before us.  It causes us to seek for the discovery; it makes room for a process of humility and discipline, if needed....which is most likely the case in most of us;  it allows new perspective to enter in if we allow God to change us in this.  

Waiting for God to reveal a thing...which is always Truth that we are looking for... is difficult;  and if we have not the patience or the will to allow Him to teach us this fruit-of-the-Spirit virtue our attitude can trap us and debilitate our thinking causing ourselves to be wrapped up in spiritual bondage.

However, if we will allow Him, the Master Potter, to mold and shape us, the cracked pottery, while we wait...

...the Truth will set us free and the wait will have been all worth it!

Knowing sets us in motion, sets us free to move forward in a thing.  It puts vision in our minds and a plan in our lives.  

Two out of the three major things we, Steve and I,  have been praying for and seeking God about have been answered.

1.  Steve hit his quota and then some alot for his job and now he is able to keep it!  I am so very proud of him, for he has worked very hard to achieve this goal.  

2.  As of late last night we know where we will be living.  Carson, California is our destination!  Despite the smog and being one block away from the 405 freeway, we will only be 13 minutes away from one of my sisters and just miles away from another.  First time since we were kids under the same roof!  I am very excited about this.

The third and fourth ideas have been partially answered:

3.  The Honda Corporate Office has communicated that they may help us with partial help on fixing our Honda Pilot.  On the other hand, I believe in a BIG God that is Bigger than Honda and He is able to change the hearts of these people.  So I am believing that by tomorrow (Wednesday, June 8th) they will call us and share the good news that they will take care of the WHOLE job...God willing!  And if not, then God has a better plan in this ;o)

4.  Our moving expenses are much and this does not just include the moving truck, car trailer, and gasoline.  There are medical expenses to pay off here in New Mexico (the only debt we have...praise God!), closing of bills and then opening of utilities in California (which can be costly), rent and deposit in Ca., a filling of the refrigerator, and well, for those of you who have moved across country you well know all the little expenses that come with it.  God is providing and I need not worry!  I have to constantly remind myself of this fact and remember all the times that He has already.  I need to remember the stones!

So, I am thankful for two out of four answered prayers!  This gives me more motivation and strength and encouragement to keep going.

Until the next update I will continue to...

Enjoy My Kup...
                 Cindy

Silence...

The silence is deafening...except for the ticking of the clock.   I never hear that noise...not until tonight.  


After delivering my family to the airport this afternoon and then turning around and driving three more hours back, I entered a home void of any other human being.  Strange.  Instead, I was greeted by a spastic, long-haired Dachshund who ran circles around me knowing she was about to get a little human contact and maybe a treat.  What a dependable companion!  


Just me and my dog.  This "alone-time" will be interesting...so I better make the most of it.  


Listening. Packing. More listening. Helping a friend. Waiting on Him.  Dinner with a friend.  More packing and more listening.  This is my goal for the week before I drive another 3 hours on Friday to meet Steve at the airport...and bring him home!

Do you ever get unwanted imaginings, especially at night when you're lying in bed, about loved ones when they are absent?  I do, but this time I'm determined to send them off to sea...the imaginings, not the loved ones (an act of taking captive the mind and committing it to the mind of Christ).  Those paralyzing thoughts that cause "what if's" about my husband and daughters as they are away will not be allowed in my mind, in the Name of Jesus!

This will be the longest time away from the girls ever...3+ weeks!  I will miss them; but I know that they are in good, godly and safe company and supervision...my family.   I appreciate you deeply! (you know who you are) And I am counting down the days when I will be able to see you as well.  I love you!


Enjoying the Silence (while I've been given it)...
                                                                    Cindy

Unclogged Tear Ducts!

This morning was one of emotion and sadness.  The floodgates in my heart...and tear ducts...were opened wide, and trying to control or close them was not going to happen...whatsoever.

I said goodbye to a few friends who are dear to me and, at the time, I knew in my heart that I would not see them for a very long time.  It hit me hard this morning when me and my family participated in communion with a few of these folks.  From then on until we drove out of the church parking lot I could not stop crying.  If you know me well you will know that I don't cry easily, and if you know me even better than that you will know that I've asked God for several years to give me tears...but those of joy, not sorrow.  So I am trying to understand what that was all about! 

I have a complete peace within me about leaving and going where I know that I know that I am supposed to be.  Maybe the tears I experienced this morning were those of sadness for my dear friends because I had, just a few weeks ago, witnessed seeing joy on their faces when I shared with them that we were staying.  It hurt my heart tremendously to have to tell them that we were indeed leaving after all; however, at the same time, I think, possibly, that I was feeling a rush of relief, because I have a strong sense that where we are moving to will be our home for a long time this time;  a thing that I've been desperately praying for recently.   It will be the REST that I know my God has been waiting to give.

Whatever they were about I am aware that God is doing a thing in my heart just the same, and I am grateful that He cares enough to do so.


Well, it's midnight now and I need to rest my tear-crusted, puffy eyes so that I can make it home safely tomorrow evening after dropping my family off at the airport.  Thanks for "listening" to these wrestled-out thoughts.  I don't enjoy keeping a journal because there is no audience.  So, there, I just let out a bit of a secret within me.  I only love writing when someone else can or will read what I have to say...so very human of me...and I'm in need of grace.


Tearfully with My Kup...
                          Cindy

Peace has passed...

... all understanding in the hearts of the Davis'... finally!

California is our final answer.  The decision has been made and dates have been penciled in.  Tentatively we, Steve and I, and the moving truck head out on June 24th...just three weeks from today.  Packing has continued, seeing friends for the last time have begun, and the anticipation of finding out which house in which city is driving me crazy!  (taking a deep breath)

This move is so strange and different from all the other ones.  For example:

     *It has never taken several turns of decision to finally come to the right one, and we always know where we are going.  This time we only know which section of the state and that we still have a job!  Praise God!  
     *Next, our car/s have always been in great working condition for a move; however, this time we Steve is having to make calls left and right trying to "settle" the issues our Honda Pilot is having and has had for the past several months.  What kind of "settlement" will be determined by next Wednesday.  Prayers for favor in the eyes of God and man are appreciated :o) 
     *Lastly, we still do not know where the money is going to come from to make this move happen as well.   

So are we being tested like never before?  I think so! 
 And I hope that by the end of all this our Lord will want to say, "Well done good and faithful servants!"  This is my heart's desire.

On Monday my girls will start their summer vacation in an airport.  Their daddy will escort them from one plane to the next as their flight lands in southern California.  How exciting for them!  On the other hand, I will be driving back alone to a house occupied by a dog, a cat, 5 one week old kittens and a mess of material possessions that have to be packed.  How exciting for me.  Actually, I am thrilled that my girls will not have to go through the drudgery of another move.  Instead, they will be reconnecting with family and old friends and having a blast!  It will be different not having them with us for almost a month.  That's never happened.

So our journey moves on.  We will miss our dear friends in New Mexico as we have missed our friends in Colorado, Texas, Arkansas, Arizona, and California...have I missed any?   There is no god like our God and He is the tie that binds us all together.  Remember we are only a phone call, a text message, an email, or a chat away....consider even a vacation our way.  Y'all are always welcome in our home ... where ever that may be.  

In all this, however, my plea to the Lord is, "May my rest be at the end of this next road...for a very long while."  

It's the Peace that passes all my understanding that restores my soul.

Enjoying My Peaceful Kup...
                                  Cindy