Tripped by the Trap...

This post is about a dark time in my life that I was speaking about in my last post, GRACE part 2.  I wrote it in allegorical form...a vision really...right smack in the middle of the circumstance...so without further ado...

July 31, 2001

THE RACE

by Cindy Davis

 

     The race is on and it has been said that only a hand-full will make it to the finish line.  Some will fall behind weary with exhaustion having complaints of dehydration; others will go by the wayside in attempt to numb their pain; still others will die in their own prideful ways not accepting help from the sideline fans.  On the other hand, there are the few who will be persistent, walking diligently and finishing the race.  

 I, willingly, choose to be one of the few who finish knowing well (or so I think) that there will be mountains to overcome and valleys to persevere.  There is a key to my finishing and that is to always strive to keep my eyes looking forward and my feet at a steady pace, never wavering to the right or to the left.  And if I need to look elsewhere let it be up, trusting in my Redeemer to guide my feet.  If I look down at my own feet I will lose the trust and stray from the faith, only having confidence in my own clumsy feet to pave the way.  I will not make it if I look down.  So, I must look forward and up.

     The air is thinning and my breathing is coming at a faster pace.  My heart is racing and I am getting tired and thirsty.  The sky is fading as tall, fragrant pines begin to come in sight.  The forest is dense, the dusty path is narrow, and the worst of my fears is beginning to make its home deep inside of me;  a fear of being unable to go any farther; a foreboding that haunts me … overwhelms me at times.  So I look up in faith.

     I hear a thing rustling in the dead leaves, but I cannot see it.  I keep my pace steady trying not to look back.  It is tempting, but I manage to resist.  I feel alone, but I know that I am not.  Something or someone is stalking me.  I can feel it.  I feel like a lion’s prey and he’s about to pounce … but I keep my pace and look up in faith.  I have protection.

    Though I’ve been warned there may be times that God’s protection will be allowed to be taken away and I will feel pain,  I am encouraged to continue to persevere and hope in that finish line.  I do not know what the end looks like, but I can only dream that my Maker has His arms held out waiting to embrace me as I run to Him.  I am thirsty and He has promised to quench my thirst.

     Again I am tempted.  This time the dark creature that haunts me lures my vision to the left.  In a split second I see pleasure, and in the next my eyes are opened to the deceit of the darkened soul that tries to seduce my thirst...and I'm aware that I will only be thirsty again.  My Redeemer offers much more that will quench my thirst forever if I will only.have.patience and keep my pace steady and looking forward and up.

(pause … I stopped writing at this point for a period of about 3 or 4 weeks .. and you will see in the next segment that darkness won for but a second in eternity's time.)

I fall in the hands of the stalker, the lion, the enemy.  My protection has been removed … and I fail the test.  My human heart, with lusts and desires that is only satisfied momentarily, deceives me.  I am left naked and alone, weary and beaten, shamed and accused.  I have lost pace in the race.  My eyes have wandered from the path, the goal.  I am now a straggler, weak and afraid, not seeing with confidence the path before me.  My eyesight has been blurred, my faith has been scarred and weakened, and my head hangs low.  I have been humbled.

    Then I notice someone standing alongside me.  One who has run the race already, only to come back along the path to help those who struggle.  I look up and see a hand outstretched towards me welcoming me to grab a hold of it.  I see compassion in his eyes, mercy in his heart, forgiveness on his lips.  I see Hope!

     My eyesight is restored, my faith is strengthened and now my head looks upward.  This One who comes back for me sees no wrong in me.  Instead, he lifts me up and embraces me, brings me back to the place of the path that I wandered from.  He helps me to continue the walk that I started towards the finish line.  Again, protecting me.  I hear no stalker, no lion, no enemy behind me;  only cheers and hoorays of the ones standing at the sidelines.  They are cheering for me!  They are encouraging me!  They rejoice, for one more has been brought back to the race.  Victory has been won!

     The race is not over.  Temptations still lie ahead.  The lion is looking for his place to pounce.  Struggles will come, but I will be stronger, more aware, and less vulnerable to the deceiving heart of mine.  I have been given the power to resist the enemy.  I must keep my eyes looking forward and upward…NEVER AT MY FEET!!! NEVER TO THE RIGHT OR TO THE LEFT!!!  That is where the stalker hides; that is where he dresses in fine clothing and pours on sweet aromas; that is where he practices charming words and seductive movements.  I must not ever look towards his way, because I’ve been there;  I have been trapped in his lure.  It is painful.  Mercy has come upon me and I must not ever take advantage of it, but hold it in sweet embrace; for if it is ever mocked upon, surely the consequences will be great and the mercies little if at all.  Salvation will not be lost, but consequences will surely be found! 

GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED!!!

     Once more I have been reminded that the One that has come back to me with outstretched hands was already standing beside me through it all.  He watched me wander, He watched me choose, he watched me stumble and fall flat on my face, He watched me in pain, He watched me become naked and shameful, and now He is taking my sin upon Himself with compassion in His eyes, mercy in His heart and forgiveness on His lips.  He says to me, “I forgive you, now go get on that path and sin no more”.  “I will be beside you.  I will never leave you nor will I forget about you”.

     I see an opening, a light at the end of the dense forest.  I am coming upon the edge of the mountainous path that leads down into the valley.  I walk out of the forest with new hope and a renewed spirit knowing full well that it is not I who walks with strength and assurance, but it is Christ that is in me.  I am ready for the valley where it is hot and dry.  Where there are no trees for shade and the temptations for quick quenching of my thirst will be overwhelming.  I am ready for the test, but my confidence must not be in myself, for I alone will fail terribly; but it must be in my Savior who will give me the power to resist the conniving snakes that are hiding behind the cacti of deceit waiting to throw anything in my path to make me stumble.

GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED BY THE ENEMY!!!

GOD WILL HAVE THE VICTORY!!!

Can any of you relate?

Enjoying this Kup of grace...

                                       Cindy