The Picket List

Dear Over Koffee Readers...

I have sincerely appreciated your interest in my family through reading this blog.  It has uplifted my spirits to see your support in so many page views.  Today I am going to link you to a new blog that my friend, author, and photographer, Sarah, has helped me to create.  God is taking me in a new direction in being intentional about what I write.   Over Koffee, as you well know, is one of more journal style, and initially it was intended for my husband to participate as well.  That season is past...for now anyway.  This does not mean that Over Koffee is being deleted, because I still think there will be a season to come back to this....with my husband, but right now my focus will be at The Picket List.  I invite y'all to come on over for a visit and stay as long as you like!  This door is open to all...so bring your friends too :)

Still Enjoying my Kup....
                                          Cindy

Cindy's Testimony

  Jesus saved me as a child of 10 yrs in a junior children's church.  I recited the simple prayer of salvation as the teacher fed me and other children that walked forward words that would lead us to accepting Jesus into our hearts. Salvation was instant; Jesus sealed my spirit with the stamp of the Holy Spirit, and because of my childlike faith I became a child of God.  A transformed life, however, has been a very slow process since that day.

 I was raised in a Christian home with loving parents and 3 younger sisters, and really was not a rebellious child; more anxious to be a pleaser instead.  No, rebellion didn’t enter into my life until I was 30…go figure!  I married my husband at 22 (and he 32), had my 3 healthy babies before I was 30, and struggled to identify the chaos inside of me during those first several years.  When the baby of the three was born it was later diagnosed that my body was experiencing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome piggy-backed with Cyclical Depression.  My arms annoyingly ached progressively and the depression taunted me more days out of the month than not.   I fought with my emotions daily to the point of suicidal thoughts (which never played out, praise God!).  The picture I saw in my mind was being trapped in a dark pit with no light.  God protected me, however, through my baby.  She was the content one of them all as an infant, and I found comfort in holding and nurturing her…and she is what kept my mind off the darkness.   

As a result, our marriage was floundering, heading down the road that this world most often sees nowadays.  My husband would come home from work daily only to see that the house was a complete mess, and I was still in my robe holding my infant, lying on the couch reading Danielle Steele books!  He could not understand this nonsense, and, frankly, I could not either; I could not explain to him the hellish feelings, the physical tightness of my head, the contradicting thoughts of suicide and then love…it was impossible for me to voice at that time.  Among the outer chaos I had a 2 year old bouncing off the walls vying for ANYbody’s attention…especially mine!  And my 4 year old coped with mommy’s moodiness by hermit-ting in her bedroom playing with her dolls.  It was not a positive time in the Davis Family’s life.  We did not have the understanding to move forward in a good way…we moved forward, but with an incredible amount of weight on our life.  

We moved a lot during this time, because of discontentment and unhappiness; and every time we moved I would entertain the thought that MAYbe life would get better, issues would resolve themselves; but they didn’t, they only grew worse.  During that season we attended a church that we helped start in the first year of our marriage.  We had a good support group.  It took me a year after my 3rd was born, though, to speak out the struggle inside of me.  I was at a women’s bible study and prayer requests were being offered, and I felt the prompting (you know, the pounding of the heart…that’s how the Holy Spirit prompts me) to voice my struggle.  Tearfully I shared that morning, and it was freeing to say the least.  A flicker of light started to shine in that dark pit that I had been trapped in…because these women could identify with the struggle.  When I heard them say that they had been through the same issues (post pardom depression, suicidal thoughts, stress, etc.), Hope began to enter into my hopelessness.  I was validated for the first time, and for the first time I didn’t feel like I was the ONLY woman that went through what I was going through.  I hadn’t realized the commonality of these issues, and oh! What a relief it was to not feel singled out.

During this enlightenment I sought out medical advice from my family Doctor, who prescribed an anti-depressant.  It helped some to keep me “stable” and made me groggy too; and I really did not care for being controlled by a substance…still don’t.  This took care of depression for a time, but it did not resolve the marriage troubles.  Finances were unkempt and confusing, we were behind in everything and could not seem to ever get out of that black hole of debt.  I became bitter and resentful while my husband did his best with what he knew how to do (clearly, I see that now).  He held the job and I “held” the kids, the laundry, the whatever-it-was-I-did-at-home (it’s a blur); and my heart was beginning to become hardened, critical, and self-pitying.  I was an ugly person on the inside (of course I didn’t realize that then…this is all hindsight).  I became the self-righteous wife that did absolutely nothing wrong, but held accountable everything HE did that was not right; namely, the finances.  I felt very insecure and blamed him for not making enough money for us to “make it”.

Meanwhile my husband’s mother passed away suddenly and it devastated all of us.  It drew us together for a while, as sorrow most often does in marriages; however,  shortly after the funeral, my husband took a job transfer away from home and moved the family to the big city.  It was depressing because we had to live in a motel room, but it was only for a month before we found a small apartment.  Cost of living was extremely high though, and this did not help our situation.  Again, my emotions ran high, I wanted to move back home, nothing was going right…by me.  I took a part-time job working for the same retail company my husband was working for but in a different location.  I actually liked what I was doing, getting out of the house while my oldest was in Kindergarten and the other two stayed home with daddy (we worked opposite shifts I guess, I don’t remember).  But it only took a few weeks of working, coming home to a stressful home, and wanting so much to move back to where we had support, to gather enough fantasy-making ideas to drum up the courage to do the unthinkable to my family.  

 I ran away.   

I had a backpack full of clothes for a few days and hid it under my bed.  I headed out the door one morning while the rest of the family was asleep; this was routine when I went to work.  I drove the same direction towards work, the only difference was, I didn’t turn on the off ramp to go to work, but kept going straight in the direction of where my sister lived, two hours away.  My wallet was deplete of money (what was I thinking!?), just my clothes and my “fantastical freedom”.  Or so I thought. 

Caught by surprise, my sister still welcomed me in.  She and her husband took me out to dinner, and allowed me to stay the night; but not without the tender questions.  And then the guilt entered in, and I was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions; I felt convicted to call my husband to tell him I was ok and where I was.  Oh! The fear I arose in that man (he called all the hospitals in the area!), the confusion I caused in my little girls (more so with my oldest,  she was 5 yrs old, the other two were not old enough to consider what was happening), and the disappointment that haunted me all night.  I was not free. 

The bird had flown the coop only to find out that the coop was indeed inside a larger holding cage.

I went home the next day to a merciful husband who embraced me and a little 5 yr old girl asking, “mommy why did you leave without saying goodbye?”  My heart sank, and I wanted to die.    

Soon after this “event” we moved to the high desert that was soon to be a 4 hour drive to work round trip for my husband; but it was much more affordable.  The temperatures during the summer were 110 degrees every day, and of course it was 3 months of the summer that we stayed put.  It was during this season of driving for my husband and lots of pool time for us girls that life turned for the worse.  Finances were worse and out of control, communication between my husband and I was zilch, we were miserable, temptations rose to their heights, and resistance to those temptations was counteracted by self-pity, self-righteousness, and lack of self-control…and I’m talking about me here.  My mind was heading for divorcing my husband and voiced it a few times.  He sadly, but willingly, moved out and bedded down closer to work, while I continued the fantasy that we were already divorced; and during this deceitful time I searched the scriptures inside and out for any justifiable way out of this marriage.  He had to be unfaithful to me in order for divorce to “biblically” take place.  So, with ignorance and foolishness, I prayed just that…that he would make the choice of unfaithfulness.

Little did I know that my faithfulness was being tested, and I failed disastrously.  Slap the scarlet letter on me, because I just gave my husband a justifiable reason to divorce me!   

I became the adulterer. 

My husband found out, threw up, was tempted to take the girls and go away…but he did not.  Again, grace was given to me and my husband yearned for me to come back to him.  The humbling part of all this was how God was working in my husband during this knowledge of sin.  I was away on a “getaway” to my parents house seeking out divorce lawyers, and he stayed home with the girls.  As he was busy puking, the thoughts of “how could I have let it get this far” came into being and God was putting forgiveness into his heart already.  On the other hand, I was already divorced in my mind and had not acted on the conviction that was very gently poking my heart of sin yet.

When my husband called to inform me that he knew what I had done (via a journal that I kept on our shared computer. I had written all the hurts that I was experiencing from my husband, that he hadn't known about previous) and that he read my journal, he was, in one sentence, threatening to take the girls and wanting me to come home.  I was angry and hurt and did not want any part of him anymore, but I listened anyway.  The conversation eventually ended with an agreement that he and the girls join me at my folks and I agreed to go see our Pastor together.   

My pastor asked me, “are you willing to give your marriage another try?”  and I replied, “what do I do about my feelings for this other man?”  He said the most profound thing he could have ever said to me…because it snapped me out of myself.   

He said, “That is just a fantasy, it is not real.”   

And something inside me changed, and the next thing I said was, “what. Did. I. do?”  “What did I just do to my family?”  I was horrified.  I was devastated.  I felt dirty.  I felt ashamed.  I felt disgusted. Sick. 

 But God. 

Where there is Truth spoken there is freedom!

And that’s when the healing began.

We began to reconcile our marriage.  We moved back to “home” where all our support had been.  God brought me a prayer partner that lasted a year and a half, meeting together weekly and having positive words spoken into me and about my husband, things that I hadn’t realized that I was taking for granted in him.  Oh what a wonderful time that was!  My husband was meeting with a small group of men as well.

During this year of reconciliation the Lord prompted me to write a 12 week devotional for a group of people that I had worked with; one devo per week.  That was an amazing time of growth in my life; that of hearing God in the wee hours of the night, and learning to step out of my comfort zone.  It was a glorious year of renewal and rest, spiritual growth and grace, and personal thanksgiving of God’s mercy that I had not contracted a disease or was pregnant.  Even though that year still came with it’s own struggles, we were on the road of healing.  And then it happened. 

Almost a year later to the day of my sin, I received an email from my husband that would have answered my “prayer” a year previous; you know, the justifying factor for divorce.  It was a letter of shame, and guilt, and asking for forgiveness, but understanding if I did not; it was a letter of confession and coming clean; a letter from a man that was releasing a very heavy load that he had been carrying for a very long time.  Yet, I was still devastated. I won’t go into the details of his end because that’s his testimony, but I will share that his sin happened a year after we were married…8 years before this email.    I called my prayer partner and she rushed over to be with me.  We prayed, we cried, and we talked.  And the choice that I made that August day was 

“I will stay with my husband because I do not want to miss out on God’s blessings.”   

Do you see how God worked in this?  I had to forgive my husband because a year before I had received the same forgiveness…and that’s how God works.  His grace is sufficient. 

This is when the spirit of ministry entered into our hearts as a couple.  God was creating good out of the bad in our life to be able to identify with other couples going through similar circumstances.  And I would share with the women who wanted to give up, “the grass is definitely NOT greener on the other side, it’s prickly, painful, poisonous, full of pride, deceitful, and harmful to you and others around you; it leaves scars!”  And my husband would speak to the men about loving their wives like Christ loved the church.   God began to “train us up” as I was mentored into leading worship in corporate church settings; and my husband began to have a heart to seek out ministry opportunities instead of the retail he was working in.  And God provided 9 months after I chose to stay with my husband.  We moved several states away to our first ministry position in the Christian Camping world that was located in the beautiful Northern part of the Sangre de Cristo mountains in Colorado… and from there God continued to move us like he did with Abraham.  We were learning to obey when He called us to move…and blessings followed.

That was my 30’s.  And then I turned 40 when I thought life was only going to get better.  I had imagined that 40 was a magic number and “poof!” things changed!  You see the marriage still had work, and I still needed more transformation, a heart remolding, because every now and then the past temptations would haunt me and I would entertain the thoughts…never acted upon them…and God would always remind me “My forgiveness will not be mocked!” and I would be allowed to remember the details of my sin.  God will always have the victory! 

 And He will always pick me back up and dust me off to set me on that continued path that He sets before me. 

Nevertheless, 40 came with, yet, a new set of difficult circumstances all it’s own.  It was a year of physical pain and relational heartache.  I was scheduled for my first Mammogram and I had heard rumors of the horrors of the event.  But that wasn’t horrible at all; what brought horror to my life was the phone call I received two days after the procedure letting me know that another Mammogram was crucial as soon as possible to view an area that looked abnormal.  The memory of my mom with a mastectomy due to breast cancer and the death of my Aunt at 39 years of age for the same, penetrated my inward being, and my life fell apart in an instant. I sobbed in my husband’s arms, and all the imaginings of “what if’s” came into view, and that made me cry even more.  My husband sent out an email of urgent request to all of our friends for intercession on my behalf that day.  It was a day of embrace, not only to each other, but embracing all the things we should not take for granted…like family. 

The 2^nd Mam came out normal and we praised God and did not forget His faithfulness to us. 

A couple of months later a couple of close friends turned on me …my perspective of course.  I thought I had been a good friend when speaking truth into them, because I felt God was prompting me to do this.  I had asked permission from my friends to do so in fact, but the relationships turned and I took it very personally because it was hurtful and offensive as they criticized and harassed my family and me.  Unfortunately, we had to cut them off completely; and because of this I became cautious with future possible relationships with women.  

 But God!  

 Within the past year and a half God has worked on me in this area and has taught me how to forgive…again!  He has introduced me to the topic of soul ties…positive and negative ones.  He has identified for me more in detail what my ministry is…and guess what?  It’s to women…shocking!  And now more reconciliation has been introduced back into my life with these past relationships, and what freedom that brings!

Here we are, now, in Red River, NM, located in the Southern part of the Sangre de Cristo mountains…which, interestingly is translates “blood of Christ” (and that’s no coincidence in light of what God has done for the Davis Family), our 11^th move since that first year of ministry, 9 1/2 yrs later, and 7 states pinned. What an adventure it has been, the journey of a life-time!   

To this day, I do not take any meds for depression, because I was healed in Jesus Name 4 years ago at the church we are now attending … for the 3^rd time.  I still claim that healing!  My marriage with Steve is a whole lot healthier and freeing…and in fact we will be married for 20 years come November…, our finances are in order and we are living by faith, our girls are grown up in the Lord and seeking Him daily as they venture out in the world of public high school, and we are once again living in a motel room…well, 2 bedrooms and a living area, but in different circumstances and hearts full of joy seeking God in Everything we do and say.  Jesus is our Lord, He is our Provider, He is our Healer and there is not another life that I’d run to that would be more thrilling than this life I live now.  Everything in my past, my rebellion and sin, I know is forgiven and forgotten, and I only talk about it to bring Hope where hopelessness invades, hoping and praying that but one heart might come to a saving knowledge of my Savior, Jesus Christ.

The journey continues…

Embracing My Kup...

                                    Cindy

Readying Ourselves (Revised)

We are discovering (after 26 moves) that we were created for change, wired for moving, connected to the calling of Jesus' ministry through our life.  From one project to the next we journey; an adventure that will not be justified by man, nor defended by ourselves, but Jesus. He is our advocate.  Whether the stay be a week, two months, a year, or six; only He decides when to take us from this place to that.  We are only to stand and be ready.

It will only be eight months and He will move us onward to another mission.  Our purpose here is finished, and only He knows what exactly that purpose was in the great scheme of things....we have an idea, but only a smidgen.  The next direction has not been revealed to us as of yet, and come August 31st (our last day working at Hope House) we are trusting that word will be spoken as to the where and the what.  Jesus asks us to have faith and trust Him in everything, and so we are and we will.  We are only to stand and be ready.

Our bags are getting packed, our things are being separated...some for keeping, others for the yard sale, trying to figure out what we will be needing for this next thing.

Our emotions are kept at bay as "the children are not to be told until the last week" (emphatically spoken, and not by us). And this I mean the children that live at Hope House.  Our own children are always in the loop, and we stand together, praying together, being ready together ;0)
 

*sigh*

One thing for sure, though, I will not be shaken.   My God is Greater and "...the hand of the Lord is powerful..."  Joshua 4:24.

Joy in my kup...
               Cindy

Engulfed

WOW... it's been 6 months since we arrived Hope House Children's Home and I've only written two posts here.  That should tell y'all how engulfed we've been in this ministry.  

Engulfed and overwhelmed most often, yet able to grab hold of those little nuggets of golden moments and opportunities that God allows us amidst the seemingly seamless inner turmoil that these kids live with day-in and day-out.  

They are stretched like rubber bands through love-based disciplines and structure; and just like rubber bands, they bounce back when spiritually and emotionally "wrestled" with by nameless, invisible enemies (only I believe there are names for them).  Many know how to survive, they've had to, and these are some of the toughest "skin" to break thru.  Hard shells covering the most tender hearts; if only to be allowed a glimpse.  


Sweet smiles, heart-breaking tears, bubbling laughter, shocking outbursts; all consuming to the one being engulfed by the contagiousness of it all.

This ministry is easy; it's difficult; it's humbling; it's infectious; it's exhausting; it's rewarding; it's personal, but most aspects of it cannot be taken personally; it's life-changing; it's heart-breaking; it's heart-softening; did I mention engulfing?


This is a ministry that one is called to be engulfed in others; yet it is so easy to get engulfed in self.  


On that note ... please pray that my heart will produce a protective barrier from the engulfment of self, and be all about others.  


EnGULFED in my Kup...
                                          Cindy
 

Survival VS. Life

I suppose it's about time that I write something here because it's been a while.  I've been a bit busy working full-time with 21+ girls under the age of 19 and then come home and, with what energy I have left, do my best in being wife and mom to my own family.  I originally started this ministry with Steve to be part-time so that I was able to be who I need to be at home; however, due to the recent staff "holes" I felt that I needed to volunteer to be there full-time until more help came.  I'm pretty tired to say the least, and right now, at this moment, I probably should be taking a nap before my family arrives home to allow my body and brain to re-energize; but some still small voice interjected with that thought of this update and so I'm complying ;0)  

*deep sigh*

As I listen to the different species of birds chirping outside my opened window, God is reminding me that as much as He cares for the little details of a sparrows life and surroundings to be able to survive, that He even more so pays special attention to my life, my family's life, and our specific surroundings that we live in right now.  

Today I feel like mentally diving into survival mode; but with that would follow the emotions and then the physical and then the relational aspect of my life.  That would not be healthy.  

Sparrows instinctively know how to survive...because God gave them this instinct.  

I know how to survive...because my parents have taught me the basics of survival, not to mention the circumstances of life...lessons learned.

But do I only want to survive or do I really want to live!

God reminds me that He gives life and gives it abundantly.    

So how do I feel it abundantly?  

What does this look like?

I have an idea, but what do you think?

This is open for comments and discussion.  What has been your experience?  What are your thoughts on the abundant life?

Enjoyin' My Kup.....

                                   Cindy

And Yet...

"Joy comes with the morning".  

My eye caught this statement written on the desk that my computer is sitting on, and it dawned on me that this describes the beginning of 2012 coming out of this challenging past year of 2011 for me personally... 

A year of failed relationships, which resulted in a broken heart...mine, physical pain, and two huge moves which put my family living in 3 states in one year...the 3rd of which we landed on the last day of the  year, and of which we now reside.   

On the other hand, the triumphs and joys that did occur filled the holes where the failures and pain did not...praise God!  In Him there is refuge ;0)


Joy does come with the morning...and so do new mercies.

We are now in Marsing, Idaho ministering at a children's home called Hope House.  If you're interested you can find the story behind the ministry at www.ahome2come2.com.  

God is so good and faithful to have led us here on December 31st, 2011.  Packing during Christmas season is not a recommended task to follow, but I have to say that the family event that took place at our home on Christmas evening was a fabulous one to remember.  

Thank You, Lord for that "stone of remembrance"! 

Two days after that event we packed the kitchen and the Christmas deco (because everything else was already in boxes) and into the Uhaul Budget Truck it went...and on the road again we were off on another adventure!

I will not be sharing much about what we are doing here or updating in detail on this blog (or maybe I will, who knows); however, if you'd like to be on our mailing list for receiving an update/support/prayer letter on a quarterly basis please email me your mailing address at cindysmusicpassion@gmail.com and I'd be happy to add you on the list. 

Steve and I and the girls are extremely happy and at peace here at Hope House.  It sums up all the experiences we've had from the time we were kids through our ministry journey ... the opportunities the Lord gave us to learn and be used by Him...


And His JOY comes with the morning.  A new day has dawned, a new year has arisen, a new season is coming to bloom in the life of the Davis Family.


EnJOYing My Kup...
                             Cindy

Beyond the Tinsel

The pine tree, in all its' varieties, would most likely be voted (if there was a vote) the most popular symbol for Christmas in this modern era.  It's the one item that is most common in tradition and begs the attention of people gathered all around.  From cities' central park to the living rooms across America, from hospitals' waiting rooms to corporate office buildings; they're everywhere.

While some people randomly spend money to adorn this prickly "mascot" with sentimental ornaments and twinkling lights, others are meticulously drawing up "plans" to display the best themed tree of the year.  For most house-holds it's the gotta-have-it  item of the season or "it's just not Christmas!" ... even if it's a bit of a Charlie-Brown Christmas Tree.

With that said, I am observing a mite difference in this year's Christmas season.  Quite possibly it could be because we (my own family) will not be purchasing, or (as our tradition has been the past few years) hiking up into the snowy forest and cutting down one of its fresh beauties, that I'm noticing more than a few folks will be following suite for different reasons.

Yet, still my itty-bitty childhood tree found its place on the fireplace hearth. 

The Christmas Tree Lots have fewer trees even.

Causes one to pause and think.

Beyond the tree are the many lights and competitions of how bright one can light up a single home.  This year the neighborhoods are darkened.

Beyond the lights are the many presents occupying the base of the tree...or maybe just a few this time ... with hearts filled with thanksgiving and gratitude for only the few.

Beyond the presents ... is ... the foooood!!!  And we all know this activity takes the most time to plan and execute.  Included in that is who is doing what:  from turkey to ham, from mashed to scalloped potatoes, pies to sugar cookies, and on the list goes.  The kitchen becomes the Center for yumminess and the center of stress.  This year, however, in my household, the menu will be 3 scrumptious soups, a variety of breads, and homemade pies = shared talents from multiple family members and no stress!!!

Beyond the food is the Nativity ... in which I've discovered we've inherited collected four of them unintentionally, and only one of them encompasses the baby Jesus...or a clay model of Him anyway ;0) 

And here at the end of this post lies what ought to be the most important reason of all for worshiping ... ahem ... displaying the pine tree, shining the lights, presenting the gifts, and preparing the food... JESUS.

WHY?

Because He is the One who makes all those things or events possible...or not.  He can give and He can take away, and He is to be blessed either way.  This Babe that was born to save us ... is the same Babe that arose from the grave.

I wonder if this modern era is beginning to realize that its forest smelling mascot and all that follows it is not what its all cracked up to be, or that there's more beyond the tinsel and the twinkles and the toys.


I wonder.


Enjoying My Kup...
                          Cindy

Have you ever felt a bit shaken?

It's been a while, I know, but the way life has been going here in my family blogging has not been on the top of my priority list.  I've given it thought quite a few times but haven't had the umption or drive to write about all of it.  These are the thoughts that are at the forefront of my mind: 

We feel uprooted, winded, and just plain and simple...in a rut.

We feel displaced, unnerved, and unsettled.

And all of this just when we thought we were feeling rooted and refreshed and starting a new beginning set in a place of safety and freedom and opportunity.

"The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

And that is how it's going.

I know most of you are in the dark about what exactly I'm talking about... and some things need to be left unsaid at this point...because it's not the details that matter.  What matters is how we're responding to the "movement"... if that's what it is.  The shaking and the uneven ground under our feet...or so it seems.  That reminds me of a scripture I highlighted in my Bible not too long ago.  It's describing the voice of the Lord.  It says, 
 
"The voice of the Lord shakes the desert." Psalm 29:8

Not only does the Lord's voice come in gentle whispers, but it's profound and evident.  Read the rest of Psalm 29...there's more to His Almighty voice.
 
In the physical sense here in California the shaking and movement of the earth's floor is normal and expected, just like tornadoes are expected in the midwest, like Kansas.  So it's a little ironic geographically where we are experiencing the same in the emotional, mental and spiritual.  But God has a sense of humor at times too, wouldn't you agree?  And often times, I suppose as Christians being transformed, we ought to expect this "shaking"... as normal...shouldn't we?
 
Not sure where I'm going with this; however, I am sure of one thing:  God is not through with us yet, nor has He left us or forsaken us.  He's shakin' something out of us in order for His purpose to be accomplished...ouch, it hurts, but it's a Romans 8:28 kind of purposeful thing...ya know?
 
Thoughtfully with My Kup...
                                       Cindy

Stone Soup - BLESSING #3

HOPE

Ephesians 1:12, "...we, who...hope in Christ."

Definition: n. a desire combined with expectation.

                     v. to desire, with belief of obtaining.

Hey Friends!  For the past 7 weeks we have gained understanding of two wonderful blessings that we can claim for ourselves:  grace and forgiveness.  In doing so, we know the basis of our salvation in Jesus Christ.  

Have you claimed this?  

I pray that you have, because the weeks ahead will be those blessings that we obtain when we grab hold of this sure and solid foundation in Jesus.  He is the means to living in eternity with God.  

He is our Hope.  

Eternity in Heaven is what we can look forward to, this is where our Hope resides; where He will wipe all our tears away for good and there will be no more pain or sorrow to deny within us (Revelation 21:4).  It is this that gives us motivation to believe, to have faith and trust in God (Colossians 1:5), and let Him be our Lord, our Leader, our King in all of our life; in everything that we do or say (Colossians 1:18, 3:17).  

Have you ever read a story with full expectation of a good ending, and when you race through the content of it and at last read the very end of the story you say, "Is this it?  Is this all there is?"  Were you expecting so much more?  I have and if it was a really good book with a really good plot I really wanted to keep reading page after page of more of the colorful story. 

But, oh my friends, what a joy it is for me to say that the ending of our story will be one totally unimaginable...well I suppose you might try and imagine it...if we are in Christ.  One of the great mysteries of God is that the story of our eternal lives will never end.  Oh sure, our earthly bodies will pass away and return to dust in which we came, but our souls will go on into eternity with Jesus (Colossains 3:4).

Who's up for a new bod?  Yeah me too!  We're getting one...so can't wait for that.

We all love fairy tales...yes, you too guys ;o)  You dream to be the Prince, or the King, that sweeps us Queens and Princesses off our sweet-smelling, newly pedicured feet...(I can dream)...right?  But why do we love them?  

Have you ever once thought that the life of a fairytale prince or princess is what real life is supposed to be like?  Fairy tales are what dreams are made up of, aren't they? 

Look at Adam and Eve before their "bad choice".  They lived in "fairytale" land (or paradise) only they did not know of evil...yet.  Their life was a dream, our dream, but to them a reality.  It was intended to be reality to us as well.  

I believe God is preparing heaven for us in this way only so much more...without the villian; for fairy tales are written by man with a truly limited mind and imagination.  Yes, Heaven can be to us unimaginable, unbelievable, and unreality, but the mystery and sweetness to that is it.is.real., it is believable by faith, and it is still beyond our imagination.  God allows us to see parts of Heaven through His word, and the beauty of His creation.  Pay special attention to a flower this week.  Notice God's perfection and detail.  Pretty cool, huh?  It is through God's creation that He reveals a part of His character (Psalm 24).

In John 14:1-4, Jesus is comforting His disciples before His death in saying this, "Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God; trust also in me.  In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going."  Jesus is preparing a place for us, friends!  

Let's contemplate on this for the week and dream up what we would like life to be for us...with Jesus!  What would your surroundings be?  What are you doing?  Where are you that you can just say, "Now this is what life is all about; right here, right now."  If time could only stand still for just a few moments, days, years, well a lifetime...eternity!  

For example:  I had always dreamed of living in a log cabin overlooking a beautiful mountainous lake with the smell of pine trees and the sound of birds chirping their "hallelujahs" to their Maker.  I had dreampt  of enjoying the beauty and sharing it with wildlife, like deer.  To top it all off, I had dreampt of having a horse to ride through the forest of the mountain (my back yard) and ride to where very few could get to.  Beautiful waterfalls always enhance the view...but you get the idea.  

However...

Since the initial writing of these words (10 years ago) I have lived a bit of this dream, and to tell ya the truth...it was a thrill and I loved it y'all, being up in the mountains with all of it...but I would trade it entirely for simply being in the presence of God ... period!  I suppose it took me living in the physical dream of mine to experience and realize the reality of His magnificant glory!  And sometimes that is His point.

But why did I dream all those things before?  What about it was so appealing to me?  (Ask yourself these questions as well)  I believe the reason that I dreampt what I dreampt because I desired peacefulness (the sense of sound), joy of beauty (the sense of sight), and the freedom to live life as it was meant to be (all the senses combined).  

Here's what I know now:  Jesus is my Peace (Ephesians 2:14), He is the Maker of beauty, and I can be free to see it all when I enter Heaven.  

There is a need in all our dreams and Jesus is the Provider of those needs.  Let's desire Jesus and our dreams will be fulfilled in far greater ways than our imagination can stretch.  This is our hope!

Allow me to pray for you this week:  Oh Jesus, You are our Provider, and may we be ever so mindful of the hope that we have in You.  I pray that out of Your glorious riches You may strengthen these people with power through the Holy Spirit so that You may dwell in their hearts through faith.  I pray that Your power would help them to grasp how wide and long and high and deep Your love is, Jesus, and to know this love surpasses knowledge; that they may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  May You, Jesus, get all the praise and glory and honor for what You have done, are doing, and will do!  I pray this in Jesus Name, Amen!  (Ephesians 3:16,19)

Go in peace, in joy, and in hope!!!

Reflect on Psalm 39:7

Enjoying My Kup...

                          Cindy

Stone Soup - Forgiveness (conclusion)

"Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.  See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you." (Isaiah 60:1-2)

Jesus cried out... "I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness." (John 12:44,46)

"God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." (I John 1:5) 

Christ has come and He is our Hope in this hopeless world!  Amen?  Oh yes, we do have a Hope to look forward to and I can hardly wait for next week's devotional, for that is the subject matter - hope; BUT let me not jump too quickly over the "crux" of this Light.  For it is the Light, Jesus, whom had to suffer first before the light could burst the seams of darkness right open, exposing for all to see.  

Let us walk with Jesus, this morning, in the last days of His life as an onlooker of his suffering.  This will be a difficult journey, yes, but it is a necessary one.  For it is through his sufferings that He is able to identify with ours.  It is through his sufferings that He has taken our burden of sin and placed it on His own shoulders to bear.  Yes, Jesus was perfect in every way.  He faced trials; but not only did He face them, He lived them.  

The most shocking trial of all was that of the cross.  Blameless as He was, an unblemished Lamb, He was taken to the "slaughter" (Isaiah 53:7)...if you don' t recall what this "lamb being slaughtered" is all about go back to the post Forgiveness part 2. 

If you've decided to be a critic of Jesus (and by the way, I'm amazed you're still here!  Thank-you for sticking with this ;o) allow me, then, to get a bit more graphic in detail describing what Jesus went through physically before being brutally nailed to the cross.

Twice He was placed in the middle of a group of soldiers only to be stripped of His clothing and mocked at, insulted, spit on, and laughed at.   They intertwined a branch of thorns and pushed jammed it down into His head, in His scalp.  

Imagine the piercing pain, the trickling of warm blood running down His forehead, burning His eyes and tasting bitter on His lips, leaving a bloody trail of remembrance in the dusty trail that led to His death.

The soldiers took a staff, or long stick, and hit His face and head again and again.  They beat Him mercilessly, with, not only a staff, but a whip that was adorned with jagged metal (I imagine that it was probably rust infested as well) at the end of it (Luke 22:63-65; Matthew 27:27-31; John 19:1-3).  

It doesn't take much imagination on one's part to think that a person be dead, if not unconscious by now...

However, Jesus.stood.and persevered.  

Imagining the pain is beyond my limited mind.  "How can our world be so full of hatred as to do such a thing as this?" might be the question running through your mind...critic or not.  It was a tumultuous time in Jesus' day, even around the time of His birth.  Herod, the king, had his grip on society and anyone that claimed to be king...or "somebody" that intimidated him for that matter...he, apparently, eradicated from the face of the earth.  (Read Matthew 2, you'll get a glimpse of what I'm talking about.)

Let's move on.  Isaiah, an ancient prophet, foretold what Jesus' appearance would be like after such brutality.  Read this next sentence with an open heart:  

"His appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness." (Isaiah 52:14)

(Let me add, if you've watched the movie"The Passion Of Christ" produced by Mel Gibson...and I do recommend it if you have not (albeit it is rated R for graphic violence)...you should have noticed that the actor, playing Jesus, was still recognizable after the above said abuse...grotesque, but he still looked human.   Now, mind you, it was a movie; but my point here is that not even Mr. Gibson could portray the reality of the "unidentifiable-human-likeness-Jesus" that Isaiah speaks of at this point of the story.  It's hard to imagine without having been an eyewitness to this event.)

Do you imagine yourself looking at Jesus for just a moment?  I do not think that we could stomach even looking His way at this point.  He did not even look human.  You might ask, "Why, if He is God, did He not save Himself?"  Do you realize that was the very question the mockers, back then, were asking?  So let me ask you a question:

Are you ready to hear that Jesus suffered this excruciating pain on our...your behalf?
Are you ready to accept that we are the one's...the sinners...who deserve this punishment of the cross?

Friends, the past few weeks questions were asked that have not been very encouraging or uplifting...on the contrary, they've been of the probing type, to set us up for examination of our hearts.  I realize this; it had been difficult for me as well during the initial season of these writings.  Nevertheless, they are crucial at this point...and in time will lead to much encouragement.  
You see, 

Jesus suffered for the anxieties that we go through, so that we might have peace.  
Jesus suffered for the hopelessness that we experience, so that He may be our Hope.  
Jesus suffered for the troubled and sorrowful souls within us, so that we may experience joy in abundance.  I'm not talking about circumstantial happiness that comes to us temporarily; I'm speaking of a joy that comes from the depth of our soul as a result of the peace that we experience when we go through trials of any kind; and these things come when we put our trust in God fully to be in complete control of our lives.  

If you are not a believer, but are feeling a tug on your heart and sense that something is missing in your life, that "tug" is likely to be the Holy Spirit calling you, urging you, gently knocking on your heart to open to His.  Following Jesus is really a simple thing, but it will cost you laying down your life (your material things, all of you) and humbling yourself before your Creator, admitting that you are a sinner and asking God for forgiveness.  You must believe that Jesus died for you and has forgiven you of those sins, and then believe that He arose from the grave the third day and is now preparing a place for you in Heaven.  This laying-down-your-life is committing yourself to be a follower of Jesus Christ and putting your faith and trust in Him as your Lord and Savior...and nothing or nobody else.  A "bending of the knees" is an act of humility...having a "talk" with God starts a life-changing relationship...and that's what this Christianity is all about...a relationship, not religion.  He will come into your life if you ask Him.  Will you let Him in? (Revelation 3:20)

Think about it...and if you are reading this as a believer already do you know someone that needs Jesus in their life?  I encourage you to share with them these truths or refer them to this site to read for themselves.

Reflect on John 12:44,46...however, if you are a new believer or searching for the Truth start at the beginning of John.  If you don't have a Bible go to www.biblestudytools.com and type in John in the search with a New International Version (that's what I use anyway, it's one of the easiest to understand.)  

Enjoying My Kup...
                      Cindy 

Stone Soup -Forgiveness part 3

Dear friends, sit back and imagine as the curtains rise and the lights go out.  For just a moment listen, listen, listen...

Twinkle, twinkle go the stars

Brightly shining where you are

Come and join the angels singing

Harps are rolling

Chimes are bringing

In the Child God is giving

Can you feel the gentle breeze?

Can you hear the Spirit calling?

"Come from where you are, come near or far

Come see the Babe who made the stars"

He's our Savior, Redeemer, Bright Morning Star!

A Child is born!  He is called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6).

A Son is given!  He is a "great light" to those walking in "darkness"; to bring joy to those who are in distress; to "shatter the yoke that burdens them".  Or in today's terms:  to shatter the weight of life's troubles, anxiety's, busyness, depression, or whatever might be burdensome (Isaiah 9:6,2,1,4).

There are believers and their are critics.  The believer will recognize in awe at what Jesus has done.  The critic will sadly question cynically as to why He has done it; for they have not yet believed that Jesus has taken away the shame, guilt and blame that comes with that sort of attitude and has suffered for it.  This is what Jesus said:
 
"Though seeing, they do not see;  though hearing, they do not hear or understand.  Their hearts have become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears; and they have closed their eyes."  
BUT, 
"Blessed are the {eyes of the believer} because they see, and {their} ears because they hear"   for these see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I {Jesus} will heal them." (Matthew 13:13-16) (parenthesis mine).

 *Are you a believer or a critic?

This next picture may either draw you ever so closer to the Redeemer or break through your calloused heart...and might I add, if you are reading this as a critic I find hope in that you've read this far and have not totally shut this topic out of your mind ;o)

Let's look at Jesus' life.  He came by way of a human birth (Luke 1:31, 2:6,7).  He was fully human, fully man.  He experienced all of the human emotions and feelings that we could ever imagine experiencing.  He came to identify with His own creation.  Think about that for a minute.  God of the universe stooping to our level of limits (and a huge stoop that is!), ultimately humbling Himself to be a servant to a creation He made out of dirt, just to be able to identify and sympathize with us (see Hebrews 2:14-18).

Not only did He experience the human body, but He chose to tolerate the human mind.  He faced temptations of EVERY kind, and yet (get this) never once did He fall into it's trap!  Not once did He fail in His human existence.  I am personally drawn to Jesus because of this fact alone.  Every time I am tempted by one thing or another Jesus can say that He's been there before.  I am not alone...you are not alone! (Hebrews 4:14-15)  

Let me stop here and ask a few questions for the week; and forgive me for not posting this past Saturday.  Next Saturday I will continue on with the last moments of Jesus' life here on earth.  But let's do some more thinking:

*Recall the circumstances in your life that might have caused you to crumble; times that peace was not a part of you, and hope was hard to find.  (Quite possibly you're in one right now.)  

*In those/these times we may be tempted to "do" or "say" things in our own power and strength, but how often do we come out victorious and pleasing to God?  For "without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." (Hebrews 11:6)

I encourage you to put your faith and trust in Jesus, who can say that He has, in fact, been in your shoes before.  He knows, intimately, the difficulties you are going through, big or small.  He will identify and help you if you will let Him.  He is our Hope.

So, what do ya say?  Are you ready to go to God's  "throne of grace to receive mercy and find grace to help you in time of need"? (Hebrews 4:16)

Let me pray:  Jesus draw us ever close to You so that we may receive mercy and find your grace.  In Your Name, Amen.

Reflect on Isaiah 40:31

Enjoying My Kup...

                            Cindy